Awak, Nikah Jom!

My BFF Till Jannah (bride wannabe) sent me this.

Perkongsian "Awak, Nikah Jom!" oleh Da'ie Izzhar Nazri

Apa itu nikah?   

Nikah ialah bila kita jumpa org yg tepat, pd masa yg tepat dgn NIAT yg betul.

KENAPA PERLU NIKAH?
1. Mengelakkan maksiat
2. Sunnah Rasulullah SAW
3. Ladang pahala
4. Saham Akhirat (doa anak yg soleh)

ADA 5 KATEGORI MANUSIA:
1. Belum jumpa 'dia'
2. Sedang mencari 'dia'
3. Dah jumpa 'dia'
4. Dah nikah
5. Blur hah apa tu nikah

Bagi yg BELUM JUMPA/SEDANG MENCARI, disini ada beberapa panduan. Moh kita tengok!
Kdg2 kita tertanya2, "Kenapa dia ada bf, aku takde? Tengok rupa, takde kurangnya aku. Tapi knapa tak muncul2 lagi si dia? Adakah Allah itu tidak adil?"

MasyaAllah. Nauzubillah. Bila kita cerita tentang adil, jgn tengok mknanya didlm Kamus Dewan, tetapi tgok pada kamus Tuhan. Apa adil dlm kamus Tuhan? "Meletakkan sesuatu pd tempatnya"
Allah SWT ad menyebut didlm AlQuran bhwa lelaki yg baik adlah utk perempuan yg baik, begitu juga sbaliknya. Apabila kita sering BERFIKIR,'kenapa aku tak jumpa2 lagi si dia ni?' maka kita scara TAK SENGAJA akn membanding2kan; 'aku ni orangnya biasa2 je, mesti aku akn dpt org yg biasa2 jugak'.

Ketahuilah shbt sekalian, Allah akan bersangka dgn sangkaan hambaNya. Jika kita bersangka begitu, maka TAK MUSTAHIL kita akn dpt org yg begitu. Maka, jika kita rasa diri kita biasa2, dan mahu mendapat suami/isteri yg lebih baik dari kita, kita perlu berusaha.

BAGAIMANA MAHU BERUSAHA?
1. Kita kena buat apa yg kita SUKA UTK DAPATKAN.
    Cth: Jika kita nak suami/isteri yg jaga solat, kita dlu kena jaga solat.

2. Kita kena benar2 fhm konsep takdir (rukun iman ke6-percaya pd qada&qadar)

Takdir ad dua:
  a.takdir mubram(takdir yg tidak berubah-cth:Mati itu pasti)
  b.takdir muallaq(takdir yg berubah mengikut usaha kita-cth:Jodoh)

Firman Allah sendiri ada mnyebut bhw Allah takkan ubah nasib ssuatu kaum itu jika mereka tidak ubah nasib mereka sendiri.

3. Perbaiki dan improve diri kita.
Kenapa Allah masih tak datangkan 'dia'? Sbb Allah tahu kita belum mampu. Firman Allah dlm Surah AlBaqarah ayt 286 ad mnyebut bhwa Allah tidak akn memberati hambaNya dgn perkara yg hambaNya tidak mmpu. Allah tahu kita blum mmpu utk memikul tggungjwb sbg suami/isteri. Sayang tak Allah pada kita? Maka kerana itu, improve diri supaya mmpu.

4. Doa
Allah berfirman didlm AlQuran;"Berdoalah kpdKu, nescaya akan Aku kabulkan". Berdoalah secara detail, mintalah apa shja. Cth - Ya Allah, Kau temukan lah jodoh yg memahami diriku bla bla hensem sikit bla bla kaya.. Come on, Allah Tuhan kita kan? Jgn malu, jgn SOMBONG.

5. Lazimkan Istikharah
Ada org bertnya;"sy dah istikharah, knapa tak jumpa2 lagi?" atau "sy dah jumpa, dah istikharah, tapi masih xsure.knapa ya?"

Kesilapan kita apabila beristikharah adlh kita terlalu bgantung pd mimpi. Bila kita istikharah, apa tnda2 itu ptunjuk kita?
  a.Bila kita nk buat kputusan ke arah itu, hati menjadi tenang, urusan jd mudah
  b.bila kita berurusan dgn 'dia', perasaan tak berkecamuk, dia tak serabutkn kpala kita dgn bnda2 remeh.

DAH JUMPA, TAPI...
Apa yg kita nk buat bila dah jumpa 'dia'?
1. Utk lelaki, jika memilih utk meluahkan, maka dah jadi tanggungjwb utk dia segerakan pernikahan. Minta jumpa ayh/wali 'dia' utk meminta izin bernikah. Jika memilih utk berdiam, gunakan org tengah (yg boleh dipercayai&berautoriti cthnya ibubapa/pensyarah) utk meluahkan hasrat.

2.utk perempuan, bila lelaki dah luahkan perasaan, jgn jual mahal tetapi jgn jual murah. Ingat, lelaki yg benar2 SERIUS akn BERANI berjumpa dgn ayh/wali kita utk meminta izin bernikah.

3. Jika ternyata suka sama suka, masa inilah kita perlu mula MENJAGA. Bukan menjaga dgn call tanya dah mkn ke belum, tp MENJAGA HUBUNGAN BERLANDASKAH SYARIAH.
Adakah mksud disini tidak boleh contact langsung? Boleh, dgn syarat ianya satu KEPERLUAN, bukan ALASAN.

Disini kita perlu tahu, mengapa COUPLE itu dilarang? Dari sudut psikologi, ada satu konsep dinamakan LAW OF SIMILARITY. Apabila seseorg itu sukakan seseorg yg lain, he/she tends to follow the person they like. Cth tak prnah2 nk pkai baju pink tiba2 keluar dating pkai bju pink sbb gf dia suka. Disini telah timbul satu sikap kepura-puraan atau hipokrit, atau bahasa perlinya, FAKING GOOD. Diulang, FAKING GOOD.

Jadi macam mana utk bernikah?

5 persiapan ke arah nikah:

1. Persiapkan roh( jaga hubungan dgn Allah, tunaikan hak2 Allah cth jaga solat)
2. Persiapkan emosi (faham bhwa lelaki dan perempuan diciptakan sgt berbeza)
3.persiapkan fizikal(jaga kesihatan dan kecantikan diri)
4.persiapkan akal(belajar selok belok pernikahan, tanggungjwb suami/isteri)
5.persiapkan ekonomi(rancang kewangan, adakan simpanan)

KESIMPULAN
Hadis Rasulullah SAW ada menyebut bhwa wanita itu dinikahi krana 4 perkara: kecantikannya, keturunannya, hartanya dan agamanya.Pilihlah 'dia' krana agamanya, nescaya hidup kamu akan bahagia.

Jika kita cintakan dia kerana harta, harta itu akn habis.
Jika kita cintakan dia kerana kecantikannya, ketahuilah kecantikkan itu akan pudar
Jika kita cintakan dia kerana agama yg ada padanya, ketahuilah Allah SWT akan menjaga kamu dan dia.

Pernikahan bukanlah kejayaan sebuah kisah cinta tetapi itu adalah permulaan kisah cinta. Dan kejayaan sebenar bukanlah kerana dia dapat bernikah dgn pilihannya, tetapi kejayaan itu adalah apabila dia boleh pimpin pasangan dia sama2 masuk Syurga.

BFF Till Jannah's Birthday

10th November - It's her birthday!

Nur Zakiyyah Ulfah. What can I say about her? Nama dia secantik orangnya. (Pernah terfikir nak namakan anak nama yang sama) Dia sahabatku yang sejati.

Allah knows how much I love her.
I love the way she comforts me every time I cried.
I love how sweet of her buying me breakfast.
The most important are I love the way she touched my heart and reminds me of Allah.
I feel like an icy water pouring down to my heart every time she speaks to me. Subhanallah!
I really love this girl. People say that as we grow, we realize it is less important to have a lot of friends and more important to have real ones.
Thanks to Allah, I have found my real one.
Alhamdulillah.

Happy Birthday, sayang. Moga Allah senantiasa jaga awak. Sebab saya tak boleh selalu dengan awak. Saya mampu doakan yang terbaik untuk awak. I'll be close to you, InsyaAllah. Moga persahabatan kita kekal hingga ke SyurgaNya. Moga berjumpa lagi dalam Syurga Ilahi.

Too good not to share

Being Cheated On Was The Best Thing That Ever Happened To You

No one has ever been so keenly aware of their hearts’ ability to produce physical pain than someone who’s been cheated on. Only someone who’s experienced true heartache and knows the pain that runs through the body, up to the head, where traces of it leak out through the eyes, bubbling over, pouring out the nose and running back into their mouths, forcing them to taste their sorrow all over again. Real heartbreak like this, the kind that makes you feel like the air has been sucked out of you and the only position your body can muster is a ball on the floor, changes you.

Like a broken bone, it heals over time, but the scars of it never fade. We’re reminded of this pain every time we look down, every time we think of the traitors who let us bleed out on the ground in front of them. Our wounds may heal, but we will never forget.

But just because you can’t forget doesn’t mean you can’t move on. While cheating may feel like it just about killed you, it’s as Friedrich Nietzsche, then Kanye West, famously quoted, “That which does not kill us only makes us stronger.” And this isn’t some old adage to make you feel better, it’s the truth.

When the heart breaks that way, shatters into a million pieces, then reforms slowly, over time, it’s coming back stronger. You may be bedridden for months, think about it for years, but one day, you will feel better and your heart will be better for it.

Only those who have experienced deep, emotional pain can evolve into stronger, more stable people.

Because it takes real, true heartbreak to teach us. Only those who have experienced the pain of it can write about it, sing about it and understand it. It opens up an entire portal we never understood before. It creates empathy for others who will go on to feel that same pain.

It shows us another side, admits us to another group, the group of the broken-hearted. Only after being cheated on do we understand what all those songs are about. Only after experiencing real heartache do we understand what all those sad scenes in movies finally mean. Only after the pain of loss can we understand the pain of others. While you should never wish infidelity on yourself, you also shouldn’t bow to it. Because like any difficult trauma in life, there are lessons to be learned. Being cheated on may just be the best thing that can ever happen to you because it teaches you more than most people learn in a lifetime. 

People might not always tell you how they feel, but they’ll always show you.

You can’t rely on words. Words can be as empty as the people who hold them. A brutal life lesson of being cheated on includes the realization that people lie. People deceive. People cheat. Just because people say they love you, it doesn’t mean they actually mean it.

It’s only through actions that we can gauge the true motives and feelings of others. Learning to judge others on how they act, rather than what they say, will save you years of misinterpretation and living like you’re in a continual game of Pictionary.

Sometimes, fate makes the best decisions for us.

You may have loved that person, but that doesn’t mean you were meant to be with him or her. While no one wishes to be cheated on, sometimes it’s a necessary course of action in a relationship that wouldn’t end any other way.

It was fate that you caught them or fate you found out, and sometimes, being cheated on teaches you that things happen for a reason; in the end, there’s really nothing you can do. Everything happens for a reason and because you couldn’t see the kind of people they were, fate showed you instead.

The first person you need to love in your life is yourself.

Once you’ve experienced the pain someone can inflict on you and the loss that comes with wrapping your love in someone else before your own, you understand the necessity of loving yourself before anyone else. There’s no way you can get over the pain of losing someone you love — or thought you loved — unless you have yourself to go back to.

We need our own love more than anyone else’s and being cheated on brutally teaches us that, at the end of the day, the most important relationship we should have is the one we have with ourselves.

Always be prepared for the worst — and never get too comfortable.

While you shouldn’t keep yourself guarded from experiencing the joys of a new relationship, you should always hold the reminder that people do have the power to hurt you. Love is, many times, a game. Playing smartly and making sure you’re not going in completely vulnerable is important. It’s as important to maintain your own feelings as it is to share them with someone.

You can (and will) get over pain.

That initial breakdown, the first days, weeks and months, make it seem like this pain has the power to kill you. You feel like any moment your heart will just stop all together and your tears will drown you and your sobs will choke you.

You feel like your life will never be the same again, that you will carry this pain with you forever. But slowly, over time, you begin to heal and with that healing comes the understanding that nothing is forever, not even your pain.

Trust is something that people must earn.

We grew up believing that people are inherently good until we’re forced to see the bad. It’s not until people have done us wrong that we understand not everyone is to be trusted. Trust is something the unscathed give away freely, but only those who have felt the pain of betrayal know that trust is something that must be earned.

We’re fragile; letting someone into our small, breakable worlds shouldn’t come with a free entrance.

By Lauren Martin

Retrieved from : http://elitedaily.com/life/cheated-best-thing-can-ever-happen/834269/